Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Food For Thought - Anandians Speak Up.U know, sometimes we people need to speak up more about our reflections in life so that we could gather valuable lessons to grasp life in an even better way. There is a way to learn, and that is thru blogging. Although there are many renegade bloggers out there who really ain't using the blog to its true purpose, i trust that this house is the house of thought, so we don't need to go under the table with some stuff. The reason for this FOOD FOR THOUGHT - ANANDIANS SPEAK UP is to give u peeps, yes, anandian peeps, the really great opportunity to open up to the rest of the house members ur daily happenings in ya school, love (if convenient), life, family etc. An avenue for u to express yourself in words, if u cant do it verbally. For Starters, i shall start this solely-Anandian Journal of food for thought.The lesson of promoters in retail shops:Do u know the purpose of really selling your products in your shop? u need sales, and thats possibly the only thing on your director's mind if u really want to survive in that environment, everyday your job is threatened by that decision of sacking you. Well, it sounds really sick. but somehow, u gotta get thru it. And yea, fortunately, it wasn't me. It is my supervisor going thru the current situation i've just described to u about.These days, working in Hang Ten shops are tough. so yea, what did i do? i had to treat my supervisor with welfare, as he din get any from his superiors, shame on u bosses. He did get back to work, and yes, din get so much flak as the sales increased gradually. Thru promoting, u get to know situations in different customer's families too! Like a very old aunties just squeezing out enough of her cash to provide 3 t-shirts worth $5 each to give to her grandson, and 2 days later, the old auntie comes back crying saying that the shirts weren't attractive enough to him, and rejected it wholesale. I mean, only Satan will do that to his grandmother. Its tough to satisfy a teenager nowadays, but really, when someone buys that special something with so much sincerety, u need to know: she gives it to u cos she really loves u, as a grandson, as a mother, or as a father, a granddad. peeps, treasure the old people, for in a wink of an eye, u never know where this valuable and caring folks will ever be there for u again. Like how i lost my grandparents to heart bypass surgery failure and kidney rupture. Its a pain to feel that way, however, during that period of time when my grandmother was slowly fading away into oblivion after the 3rd bypass, i knew i was there to accompany her all the way. When i was young, grandma will always bring me to watch opera shows and get me 50 cent ice creams and we would watch the show till it finished. After that she would talk to me in my pram and from then on, every year, she would give me hongbao of a standard amount. When i am sick, she and grandpa will be the first person to arrive at Doctor Wee's Clinic in Bedok as early as - 5am. to get me the number 1 tag. I was really weak when i was young. Used to have jaundice as well as high fever. So yea, also, they would bring me to marketing in my kindergarten years and chat with the aunties in the markets about me and how cute i was. During secondary school, when i was dumped, yes, dumped by my first love, i cried in my grandma's arms. sigh. those were the really enjoyable and nice days cos i know i always have grandma. However, age had to catch up.She was down with weak heart and really needa breathe after a few steps down the stairs. As a result, we had to give her a pacer that costs 6000+ to 'mechanise' her heart. She had a chip in her heart placed But guess what? New Changi General Hospital Intern doctors screwed up the process and the chip shifted outta position. Now bear in mind my grand ma is 70+. to go thru 2 operations is madness. But unfortunately, she was unable to recover well from that first. Throughout the ordeal she has been going thru, i, was actually at that point in time studying A levels. Everyday after class, i would get her porridge, different flavours and travel down from my school in Paya Lebar to Simei to feed her lunch. As u can see, my grandma's home did have 2 more adult occupants, my uncle, and my aunt. sigh, they were going thru immense stress themselves and din even have the time to look at grandma. So i took the responsibility. For 15 yrs she has been looking after me, caring for my needs, and now, the least i could do is feed her food and water, talk to her, chat with her, do my homework and studies by her bedside.Now there was one day she started to act up really bad and puked all her food. I had no choice but to carry her to CGH myself. - i was really thin at that point in time. 68kg? she was 56kg.called my mum and found out that oh well, she had to go thru that elusive 2nd operation. It was inevitable. She went thru it, and really, i prayed every single day for her health, cos to me, she was my confidante, my pillar of strength, and my really loved grandma. She came out, bad. The result showed that she could give up on life anytime.I didn't know about the situation as my mum kept mum about it. rhymes huh? but yea, she kept mum and till the day when she knew from the doctors that grandma had renal failure, of her lower part of her bodies, she called me, whilst i was having my economics lecture. and cried. I instantly gotten stunned, and really, when my chinese teacher, Mrs Heng, came up to ask me what happened and why i am sitting down there staring into blank space for 10 minutes, i cried too. I really loved my grandma, and she failed to hang on. I was rushed to the hospital by my teacher, and boy was i praying that there will be miracles.Budden i faced harsh facts of reality in the hospital. At the surgical intensive care unit, lay my grandma, with my mum crying really badly outside, i told my aunt, who was also there with my cousin, to stay outside while i talk to my grandma alone. As they left, i glanced to her left hand and held her, due to her renal failure, wherever she was injected (she was injected 10 parts) her blood vessels turned blue-black. I told her - PuoPuo (grandma in chinese), wo hui zhao gu mama gen papa de (my dad suffered a stroke also). Ni fang xin bah. In my mind, i had half the thinking to really burst out crying, but i reckon this would not be what she wanted, a crying loved one. So what did i do? and believe me i did this in the hospital. I knelt down beside her bed, and chanted Metta Sutta. after which, i transferred merits to her. Whatever or whether it has gone thru it din matter to me. I had to help my mum settle my grandma's funeral. As i see her being pushed to the mortuary for further preservation before the embalmer comes, she had stopped breathing. All my heart was thinking: I love u, grandma. BE well and happy. Sabbe Satta Sukhi Hontu.Throughout the whole funeral i was the organiser and really got myself involved in the events like chanting, and praying, and serving food and drinks to the visitors and relatives.Everyone came into the void deck funeral, with a mind to cry, and really, mum was really emotional, she cried together with them. every single time. Even my dad cried. But i didnt. For the whole process since her death to her cremation, i did not cry. I wanted to radiate as much metta as possible to her, as well as keeping her well and happy, in wherever she will go after being in the human realm. The cremation too was a tough process. A difficult one to endure. I needa support 30 crying aunts and uncles as well as my mum, who fainted when seeing thru the glass panels the way grandma's coffin was pushed into the scorching furnace. Gone is the physical being of grandma, mother of my mum. However, till now, her every caring action given to me as well as the things that she has done to support me lies vividly in my heart and will never leave my soul for as long as it takes. Its her undying spirit that spurred me to get grades from A levels that propelled me to university. The entry to university, is dedicated to my grandmother. Peeps, if u have a grandmother or grand daddy at home, love them as much as your parents, for whatever kinda person they might be, they are also 'buddhas' in our house.A source of inspiration, a place of love congregation, a defining solace in life.Hopefully, with this true account of what i have had, u could learn something from it, and i really wish to see u guys blog more about ya experiences so that we could learn from each other.IT doesn't take someone older to teach someone younger the steps of life. Sometimes younger peeps could get more lessons than older ones and together, they can share. So Anandians, don be shy toshare, cos i too, shared my reflection.
Be waiting guys.
signing off.Captain Ananda - Alvin.
Simplicity overrode @ 1:31 AM
___________________________________________
